Loneliness is something I’ve known deeply.
And I’m not alone in that.
In fact, 12% of U.S. adults reported having no close friends in 2021, a dramatic increase from just 3% in 1990. Loneliness isn’t just an emotional experience—it affects our health, increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke, and early death by up to 26%. (source)
For me, loneliness has never been about not having people around—it’s the hollow feeling of not being seen, not being met. Insecure attachment patterns, trauma, and living in a rural area have allowed loneliness and isolation to visit regularly. For years, I tried to exile those feelings. I shamed myself for them. But eventually, I gave them space. I softened. And loneliness softened, too.
Still, insecurity and fear keep it alive in me some days. Which is why I was struck by an article I read recently in WiseBrain.org about building community with wise effort. It offered three powerful questions to reflect on when we feel disconnected:
Are you running away? Holding on too tightly? Or stuck in a story?
I saw myself in all three.
I’ve run away from discomfort, convinced myself I don’t belong, and told stories like “I’m too different” or “They already have their group.” I’ve clung to my independence out of fear that I might be disappointed—or worse, a burden.
But here’s what I know now: we are not meant to heal alone.
The Communities We Crave Are Already Around Us
In her article, Diana Hill invites us to notice the micro-communities we already belong to—group texts, walking trails, sandwich shops, spiritual circles. Connection doesn’t always start with soul-baring conversation. Sometimes it begins with a nod, a shared ritual, or a quiet sense of belonging.
She writes, “Many of us crave communities but don’t see that we are already part of them.”
Still, if you feel a yearning for something more—a space to be honest, a space to grow—you’re not wrong. And you’re not alone.
What Blocks Belonging?
When we feel disconnected, it’s not always because we’re missing something. Sometimes it’s because we’re protecting something. Vulnerability can feel unsafe, especially if we’ve been hurt before. But protection becomes a cage if we don’t recognize it.
Here are a few reflective questions adapted from the article to gently explore your own community blocks:
- What am I afraid of when I think about joining a group?
- What do I fear others will see or not see in me?
- What story do I tell myself about why I don’t belong?
- Where am I clinging to control or comfort that keeps me separate?
These aren’t easy questions—but they are liberating ones.
A New Vision of Community
At Trinity Mystic, I envision community as something soft and real, not forced or performative. It is paved by our shared commitment to healing and personal growth, and lined with compassion, curiosity, and kindness.
Everything is welcomed on this path—grief, laughter, confusion, joy.
Everything is part of the path.
That’s why I created the Trinity Journey Circle—a space to gather in mutual care and discovery. It’s not a flashy production experience (yet). It’s grassroots. Imperfect. Growing. Just like all of us.
If You Feel Ready…
If your heart is longing for connection and you’re ready to be met—gently, without pressure—I invite you to join the Trinity Journey Circle.
And if now is not the time, that’s okay too.
You always have a place here.
When you’re ready, the circle will be waiting. And so will I.
With warmth,
Nina
Trinity Mystic
